Recently, I shared with someone that every step I take is in faith. They did not fully understand what I meant. Sometimes we hear people talk about walking in faith. For me, it is not just a spiritual faith walk, but also a physical faith walk. On October 15 2007, as I was opening my office door at the church I was pastoring at, I felt a pain shoot down my right leg, followed almost immediately by numbness and a sense of shock. I also found myself going why now God as within minutes, a special guest and his entourage arrived and I was bracing myself to figure out what was going on, how I was going to lead worship, and how I was going to manage to look like a calm, cool, collected leader in the midst of this storm that was suddenly and unexpectedly raging in my life. The words which kept floating through my spirit were peace, be still. Peace, be still. Through the grace of God and the support of my wife and good friends, my car and I got home safely.
Two weeks later, as I was getting up to pray at our churches anniversary celebration, I fell. My walker and I both came down to the ground and God whispered in my ear, peace be still. It was all going to be okay. I remember looking over at one of the other spiritual leaders and saying would you pray please. Then God whispered in my ear, brace yourself, but know it is all going to be okay. Later this person came over, prayed with me, and said God has given you a tool, use it. When I called my doctor to let her know I had fallen, she got excited, she said great. It seemed like now that I had fallen, the insurance company would allow her to order me a brace.
I have been wearing this brace, also known as an ankle foot orthotic since November 2007 and at first I had a love hate relationship with it. I loved that it made it easier for me to walk. It held my foot in position so I was not tripping over my toes anymore. I also hated it because there are times I just could not seem to be able to get my foot guided in to the shoe without wanting to scream, cry, and get frustrated. There were, and are, times I just have to say ok – peace, be still. Then I try again and eventually I manage to get my foot in and get my leg strapped in. Sometimes, I have to ask Zoe to help me.
Several years ago, I had a series of dreams about my back and my brace. In one of these dreams, I was looking at my shoes. One of my shoes was sitting on the floor with no brace and one had the brace in it. God asked me how many braces do you see? Easy answer right? One. Wrong. God said no. You have more than one brace. You only see one. See you are conscious of how I am your brace on your right foot because you are aware of the brokenness. You are aware of how when you stop and ask me to help you get your foot in your shoe, I help you. You know that your brace and shoe go on so much easier when I send you assistance.
Ok, so let’s talk about a second brace, one of the ones you don’t see. Do you not feel my presence as you slide your foot into your left shoe? Do you feel my presence as I help your fingers to fasten the straps? Can you feel me working through your nerves telling the left leg to work as consciously as you feel me working to tell the nerves in your right leg to work?
Now let’s talk about the other times I have been there to brace your brokenness. I was the brace that held you together when your mother and father died. I was the brace that held you together when you didn’t know how you were going to pay your bills. I was, have been and always will be the brace for your brokenness. All you have to do is have faith and remember I will help you through!