I have always wondered why we spend so much time trying to understand and explain that which has already told us we cannot explain. Why is it that we are not okay with not being able to explain God. Why is it not okay to just say I do not know.
The more I try to conceptualize and theorize about this force many call God, the more I realize we will never be able to do more, in this realm, then have experiences which allow us to know we have just had an encounter with the Divine. For some it is enough that we sit in those moments where we know we have experienced the presence of the Divine.
One of the liberating lessons I have learned from my study of Toltec Wisdom is that it is what it is nothing more, nothing less. What if we sat with our experiences with the Divine in that way, not making more or less of the experience then it is. When we do are we not in some way dishonoring the authenticity and uniqueness of that experience. If we dishonor the experience, are we also dishonoring the Divine.
I wonder what would have happened has those before us not tried to build the Tower of Babel. Would we all be speaking the same language? I do not know. What I have come to understand in my journey is that it is through my personal relationship with this mystery that I have come to realize that life is filled with possibilities that transcend my own expectations or ideas. I have come to realize that my relationship with the one I call the Ultimate Consciousness requires a level of faith, trust, and humility which liberates and heals me in ways I cannot explain.
Recently, someone asked me why I often refer to “God” as the Ultimate Consciousness. Numerous names have been given to this mystery, to the one I call the Ultimate. I use random names in part to keep me from personalizing a source which is more then I can begun to understand. I have had to move away from the traditional ways of naming to help me stay in tune with the mystery, this source which fills my life with moments of awe which transcend anything I will ever understand. I am not surprised though as I have been told through the writings of Isaiah 55:8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my ways.” So I find peach in knowing that the only one whose thoughts I may come close to understanding are my own and acceptance in knowing they are not those of the Ultimate. Those thoughts are and remain a mystery.