When does relationship occur? How would you describe your dance with the dream of the planet? Don Miguel Ruiz asked viewers to think about these questions. At one point in my life, I would have said it was when I began speaking to someone. However, over the course of my life I have come to realize I am in relationship with people with whom I have never spoken. Every time I post something I have written, whether it is from my personal journal, something I am working on for my book, or something I have written to assist others, I am creating the possibility for me to interact with someone and for someone to interact with me.
Sometimes I can be in a physical space and be developing a relationship with them without even saying a word. I have come to learn this theoretically and teach about how we perform our genders for example through out hair, clothing, jewelry, and even what we shower with in the morning. Stacey and Clinton from what not to wear reinforce this ideal as well. People judge you based on what they see and what the image says to them before you even say a single word. While I strive not to judge people based on what they are wearing or how they look, there are moments I catch myself doing that. For example, when I see someone wearing a Mitt Romney for president t-shirt I automatically find myself wanting to know why? Then I have to remind myself I may be putting that you have to be kidding look on my face and sending a clear message to this person that I do not agree with their political position.
Sometimes the context in which I meet someone can shape my perception and relationship with him or her. I remember when I met this one client. When I first met him, it was during a very stressful period in his life. While I tried to be mindful of this, I found some of his comments challenging to overlook. After our professional relationship ended, I was surprised to hear from him again a few months later telling me he had so enjoyed working with me and my professionalism that he wanted to work with me again. I knew that I had worked hard to be mindful that there was more to him then was showing up during those few weeks, so I was glad that my frustration did not come through any of the times we talked.
Working at home, I do not have to interact physically with people other then my wife on a routine basis. There are blocks of time when I would like to say I am not interacting with the dreams of the planet. However, when I stop and think about it for a moment, I realize that even though 85% of my work is virtual, I am still interacting through every word I type whether it is in response to my students questions and posts, grading their work, working with a writing/editing client, or meeting with client for my spiritual partnership ministry, or in one of our small groups. Even today, as I prepare to go to the grocery store, I will be interacting with and forming relationships with others and their dreams of the planet.
When I come home, I will make a tray of lasagna, garlic cheese sticks, and a salad. Then I will share it with friends with whom I will spend time laughing, sharing a good meal, relaxing after a full day of work, and sharing our individual experiences of reality.
After the dinner is over, I can sit back and remember that there are times that there is an intimacy in my dance with the planet where we make ourselves vulnerable with each other and share what is in our hearts. And I remember that there are also times that I choose to say thank you but no thank you to an invitation to dance with the dreams of the planet. Whether I choose to dance or not and the level of intimacy in that dance is about my individual dream and me. Whether I choose to engage directly with someone or not, we are still in a relationship. For me, the relationship begins the minute our energies connect in any way, shape, or form.