If you’re happy and you know it

Ok, so I woke up this morning singing that children’s song – if you’re happy and you know it clap your hands. I don’t know what it is about that song that just makes me smile. Maybe it is the clapping of my hands, the stomping of my feet, and the shouting of hooray. Or maybe it is the memories of singing this song with my son Nick when he was so much younger. I may have to talk with him about this song when I call him today.

It is such a blessing to wake up in the morning and be filled with so much happiness and so much love. What a blessing it is to know I am love and do not need anyone else to give me what I already have. I have been Zoe for 10 ½ years now, but even if she was gone tomorrow, I would still be happy and love myself. Her being in my life gives me someone to share all this with, but I am no longer dependent on her or anyone else to give me what I have.

I can remember a time when I felt as if I needed others to love in order to love myself or to be happy. So often, the price I paid for that kind of love was drama and trauma. At times, I paid the price of fear, doubt, lack, and low self-esteem just to be around people who said they loved me. Then I learned this important lesson – none of them loved me. If they loved me, they would not want to suck me into their drama and trauma. And if I loved myself, I would not allow myself to go there.

So I began making changes in my life. I began removing myself from anything and any one who was trying to undermine me or suck me into their drama. I began surrounding myself with people who are positive, happy, and loving. I began surrounding myself with people who made me say I want some of what they have. It was not that I wanted to be them; I just wanted to have that glow around me like they had. I wanted love and happiness to flow out of me like a river.

I know that the best is yet to come in my life, but for now, I know that love and happiness are flowing out of me and I can be that five year old again. I can sit here this morning and clap my hands, stomp my feet, shout hooray and do all three. I wish I had some friends here with me this morning. I would get us all singing this together just without the purple dinosaur. Lol.