I love, love, love our Living the Five Agreements group. I love all of our groups for different reasons, but this group, perhaps because we are all so comfortable with each other, is one that makes me wonder why I even have an end time on the group because we have NEVER ended on time. For the last few months, we have been doing something interactive. I had bought three card sets dealing with Toltec Wisdom, one box of The Four Agreement cards, The Mastery of Love cards, and The Fifth Agreement cards. Each month, we have taken the cards for a different agreement and picked one that felt right for us. Then we have spent our time together discussing the cards drawn by our group members.
I thought it would be fun to do this for me for a while to pick a card and journal about it. So here goes, my journal entry on the card I drew from the Fifth Agreement deck. The card I was drawn to attracted me because of the words that appeared to be placed on sunbeams – truth, honesty, and integrity. There was this image of a very pastoral and serene landscape with this beautiful sunrise and on the front, it said, “Happiness begins with impeccability of the word.” On the back it said, “The way to measure the impeccability of my word is to ask, “Am I happy or am I suffering?’ if I’m suffering then I’m not being impeccable with my word.”
When I first read and thought about the card, my immediate response was I must be doing well at being impeccable with my word because I am happy. Then this voice in my head, what I refer to as my GPS (God Protection System) kicked in and said, “oh really?” Then the dialogue began.
Infinite Presence: So you’re happy?
Infinite Presence: Really
Me: Well most of t he time
Infinite Presence: And when are you not happy
Me: When I am tired because I have been working so hard and feeling underpaid for my teaching job. I love the teaching. I would just like to be more fairly compensated for my worth.
Infinite Presence: So what are you going to do about it?
Infinite Presence: You heard me what are you going to do about it.
Me: It is what it is.
Infinite Presence: Have you told your chair how you feel
Infinite Presence: So you are holding on to these feelings and not saying anything to the one person who needs to hear how you feel
Infinite Presence: Smiley face
Me: But if I don’t tell her then she does not know and I cannot get a raise. If I say something I still may not get a raise, but she can’t say yes or even consider it.
Then I heard my Bubby saying, Sarah Bella, she who fails to fail, fails to succeed. So you ask your chair and if she says no, she says no. if she says yes, she says yes. It is what it is. Will it make you happier to tell her how you feel?
Bubby: If I were still there with you, we would go for a walk around the block and this is what I would tell you, so listen to God and speak your truth, but do it in love.
Me: Ok, Bubby.
Infinite Presence: So where else are you not happy?
Me: Besides my finances?
Infinite Presence: Yes.
Me: My health.
Infinite Presence: Ah huh.
Me: I have been working on it, but I also know I am not doing my best. So I guess I should stop making excuses and procrastinating.
Infinite Presence: That is up to you. I have given you free will you know.
Me: I know, but if I want something, I need to get up and go after it.
Infinite Presence: Yes you do.
Me: Ok, so tomorrow is another day.
Infinite Presence: Yes it is. So I will wake up to remind you that you are blessed and you can practice being more impeccable about your choices.
Infinite Presence: You are too cute. Do you know I smiled the day you were born?
Me: I know. I love you too. Night, see you later.
Infinite Presence: I will wake you up soon.
Me: I am counting on that blessing. Shalom.