A few years ago, I asked you to work with me and help me continue to grow and evolve spiritually. Ever since then you have provided me with opportunities to do just that. Most recently, you have reminded me to let go of self-judgment and blame. As Don Miguel Ruiz reminded me, in his writing about the first agreement, it is important to take responsibility for my actions but I should not judge or blame myself for anything. I thought I had been doing well at this until the last few weeks when I have found myself getting angry with myself for being incontinent at times. I would feel myself, especially when tired, getting upset with myself for not being able to make it to the bathroom. Thinking about this in terms of being impeccable has helped. I have had to work at being able to say what happened, but not feel shame or blame myself for something that is out of my control at this point in time. I am so grateful for my wife who has been so supportive and understanding, especially on those days when I am tired and begin to shame myself. She gently reminds me that I am the only one who is shaming me, nobody else in our household is. It has also reminded me how important it is to be the sacred observer and question what I believe about myself to say shameful and blaming things to myself.
It is also during these times that I need to remember the advice I give others all the time. Words of wisdom such as negate negativity, HALT PS (hungry, angry, lonely, tired, pain or sick – halt, and my modified version of a Sufi teaching – before I believe anything I must be able to answer three questions. Is it truthful? Is it necessary? Is it kind? If I follow my own advice then I will not be speaking or thinking things that are shaming or blaming.
I need to also not allow others to shame or blame me. They can only do so with my consent because I took it personally and agreed for it to be true. I have no control over what others say or think about me. I only have control over what I think about me and what I do in my life.
Being impeccable with my word is not always easy, but I am grateful for all the opportunities you have blessed me with to help me enhance my awareness of when I am not doing this so I can make a change in what I am thinking and believing. So thank you for one more opportunity to grow and evolve in my journey.