So here, it is on March 14 and while I would like to say, I have nothing to talk to you about, that would be a lie. I always have something to talk to you about. I keep coming back to this idea of my inner constellation and being part of a greater constellation. A constellation is a group of stars, which form a recognizable pattern. In some ways, I am A star in a larger group of stars, part of a larger constellation. I am a part of other people’s constellations and others are a part of mine.
I also have my own inner constellation. Evolutionary cosmologist Brian Swimme once wrote, “Everything gives off light at all times.” For me, that means that I give off light at all times and it is my light in conjunction with every one else’s light that creates those larger constellations one sees in the universe. At the same time, everything within me gives off light too. When I take the time focus on my inner constellation, I can begin to see my inner soulscape, the image of the warrior artist you created me to be.
I bring my inner constellations with me at all times, so I know the sacred space, which dwells within me is ever present. However, like the earth orbiting the sun, my internal orbit is ever changing. I am in an ever-changing relationship with my self. So as my internal orbit changes, so does my ability to see my inner constellation. It can look one way at one time and another way on another. At the same time, there are elements of my inner constellation, which are like circumpolar constellations, which are viewable from all perspectives.
So what is my inner orbit? For me, I think my inner orbit is my daily life. It is the routines and patterns that I follow. While I do not have a fixed timetable as to when things arrive and depart, there is a sense of ritual in my life at times. It is the pattern on which I rotate throughout the day; like the earth around the sun. It is those little things, which are so ingrained in being that I do not always notice them. For example, my morning ritual is to go to the bathroom then come back to the office and begin to write in my gratitude, inspiration, and intention journals and select a thought for the day. Periodically, I may grab a cup of coffee and a glass of water first, but for the most part, that is my morning rotation. Because I work at home, I have a stable orbit. I tend to know in advance when there is going to be a shift in the rotation. However, overall the rotation remains the same.
There are very few things, which cause my orbit to expand or contract. I can remember several years ago, when I was still in seminary, that I lived in a state of crisis. Over the course of a year, I shifted from living in a state of crisis to living while in crisis. My inner orbit moved from a place of constant contraction and expansion to a more dispassionate space where little affected me emotionally. There still are moments where I experience a slight contraction or expansion, but for the most part, I have existed in a rather dispassionate space. That does not mean I do not care, it just means I do not take things personally and think the world rotates around me, although I guess in some way it does, but I also rotate around it.
By living in the present, I am not living in the past or the future. I am here in this moment. I am not doing any time traveling. I am in the powerful place of now and open to what is happening in each moment. Every once in a while something will happen that will affect my orbit, like when I had this shadow from my past, which I was not even conscious was unresolved, broke loose like a meteor and hit my life. I could feel my orbit going through this process of expansion and contraction while it strove to find its way back to its normal rotation. A raindrop technique, an IET treatment, hours of prayer, meditation, and sleep and I returned to my normal routine. The one thing I noticed was that I had a higher sense of appreciation for the normal dispassionate routine after having spent time trying to find my way back to it. While there may be some minor expansions and contractions, they tend be so minimal they have minimal affect on the rotation.
What I have come to realize is that what I desire in my life is more of this dispassionate rotation. I realize that there will be expansions and contractions in life. However, I have power over how I choose to respond to them. I have to remember to stop, breathe, and reflect before I make any decisions. Allowing process time gives me a new perspective and enables me to see the constellation of my inner lights and my external lights with greater clarity. As the song says, I can see clearly now, the rain is gone I can see all obstacles in my way. Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind. It’s gonna be a bright (bright), bright (bright) Sun-Shiny day.”