Last night, during our living the five agreements group we began talking about Bryon Katie’s book “Loving What Is: Four Questions that will change your life.” For me, her “The Work” is similar to what Toltecs call stalking. As I was sharing one of the stories about relationship from her book, I came to realize that I have to accept that my son is growing up. As much as he will always, in some respects, be my little boy. He, in reality, is now a 32 year old man who is developing his own way in the world and no longer needs to talk to me as often as he once did. I realized I have had to let go and let him grow. He will call when he needs to talk to me and I will call when I need to talk to him.
Nick came into my life when he was 10 and until recently he would call at least weekly. Now, he has entered this new phase in his life and calls about once a month or every other month. I have had to accept that this is part of his growth cycle and to remember to not take his growing up personally.. If anything, it is a reminder that between his moms and the staff at East Regional Central Hospital we have done an amazing job at helping him overcome all the challenges in his life and entire into a phase of his life where most other 32 year old men are. Becoming increasingly self-sufficient and independent. So while I let him go and grow, I celebrate that he is secure enough in my love for him that he knows I am here when he needs me.
I will always be his mom, but now I am accepting that he needs me less to mother him as I did when he was younger and more to be present when he needs me. So what am I going to do with all that extra energy – lol – invest it in me, my relationship with Spirit, with Zoe, and keep doing what I need to do in life. It is nice to know that I have been a part of the journey that has helped him to overcome years of abuse. In letting go so that he can grow, I am also letting go so I can grow. It is time for me to grow into a new phase of being his mom. I guess he and I are both letting go se we can both grow.