As I finished reading Doreen Virtue’s book, Assertiveness for Earth Angels, I found myself thinking back to the day I was born. It was, as you know, not an easy time for my birth mother or me as we both almost died in childbirth. For the longest time I blamed myself at some level for the challenges she went through. At the same time, I missed the experience of feeling welcomed into the world and spent a good bit of time in my life feeling as if I just was not good enough. It was as if I blamed myself for not being Jewish enough for my birth mother and her family to keep me, not being black enough for my birth family and his father to take me. Then when I was finally adopted, I battled to feel Jacobson enough next to my brothers who were biologically my parent’s children. I remember my brother once telling me I was not a real Jacobson. I have had to work at releasing those feelings and realize that the near death experience I had as an infant was a central and key part of my life and of who I am today.
What helped me the most was writing a poem called I am enough several years ago. A couple of years ago, I wrote a response to that very poem. I am so grateful for the inspiration to write them as they continue to minister to me on those days when I doubt my worth and my abilities in this life. They remind me that I have all that I need to do all I was created to do in this lifetime.
I have had to come to understand that my being born into this world was a part of the Ultimate’s plan for me and the continuation of my spirit’s journey from past lives. One of the things that helped me to realize my connection to the universe was a children’s book called On the day you were born. One of the things that I immediately loved about this book was how it helped me to understand things were happening and evolving around the world in preparation for my entry into the universe. Animals were preparing for my arrival. The waters, the air, the earth was all adapting in some way, shape to my becoming a part of this world. I may not have had the welcoming into the world that other babies receive, but I had my own. I was brought here by the Divine to bring love, light, and positive energy into the world.
It has taken me a while to come to peace with the fullness of whom I was created to be and my purpose in life. However, now that I have I fully appreciate all the opportunities I have been given to be a part of this world. And to think all of this was set into motion before I was born and it all began to take shape on the day I was born. Thank you God!